I am tired. I had no real idea what 'tired' felt like until I got to this point. 'Tired' for me then was but a pale shadow of what I feel like at the present moment. My eye bags are forming so quickly that it hurts. I am stressed, my whole body hurts and I can't stop grinding my teeth.
This is me being in school and working, both full time.
Every moment that I'm not at work I'm either studying or worrying about studying. Every moment that I'm at work I'm wishing I weren't so that I could study. Every time I look at my bank balance I wish that I could work more. It's a bizarre and cutting cycle that's really taking its toll. I was at work until 1:00am this morning, it's 10:00am now. I'm going to the library to study until 1:00pm, when I have class until 3:40. Then I can run home and get changed in order to be at work at 5:00pm, which will last until midnight or 1:00am. Tomorrow I get up at 9 again and study until 1:00pm, and so on and so forth until my brain leaks out of my ears.
I wouldn't trade it. I wouldn't trade it for feeling like I was going nowhere and had no choice. But man, this kind of fucking sucks.
You know when you start having dreams that combine your only phobia (alone in open water) and your most stressful possible situation (overwhelmed at work) your mind is over worked.
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